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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Are you serious??

Oh my goodness! Yesterday was just one thing after another. I had to run into walmart for MILK!!.. Just milk.. and maybe some bread...
Needless to say.. walmart is brilliant in their placement of product..(We all know they have "professionals" brought in to arrange things precisely the way it needs to be in order for customers to spend way more money!.. It is all their fault!!) I had to walk all the way to the back of the store and pass isles and isles of other things...SO..I also got bread (might as well.. I am here!), garlic bread (it will be good with our Spaghetti & meatballs), Chocolate Nut Fudge Icecream (I should have stayed away from that isle..it was a compulsive purchase! I was actually looking for Mardi Gras Ice cream.. but there was None!!!!), Tostitos (because I have a jar of sauce and no chips!), Blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats (I passed the isle and remember I was almost out!).
So.. I went in to buy milk and walked out with 5 extra items! I HATE how they do that to me!! I get into the speedy checkout line behind someone who OBVIOUSLY has more than 20 items. Can't people read signs??? I do the quick lane switch.
I check out... throw my stuff in the buggy (shopping cart)... Did i forget a bag?? I have been known to do that!..
As I push my cart out the store I figured I would just grab my 3 bags and leave the cart, instead of pushing it out to my car. I was in RUSH mode! It was getting late, I had to pick up Madie's friend to sleep over, and I still had to get home a cook dinner.
I grab my bag of milk and lift it and next thing I realize...there is milk all over the ground! I stood there for what felt like 1 minute in a state of momentary shock (although it was probably only 3 seconds)..My milk exploded..DANG IT!!! What a mess!
I snatch the milk up and quickly carry it to the garbage can about 10 feet away..leaving a trail behind me. The hole to the garbage can was too small to push the milk though. My hands were full of my other bags so I put it on the ground next to it... (a nice person picked it up, took off the lid, and put it inside)
Ya know the greeter that stands there greeting people?? well.. I figured I should clue her in so she could get the clean-up crew to come and sprinkle their Magic powder and clean up my mess. (did you know they have a special powder they use for liquid messes??!!) She was quite intensely involved with her return label sticker gun...slllowwwlly... putting a return sticker on another customer's item. I felt my problem was a little more urgent.. seeing that milk was slowing spreading across the entrance way to the buggies... a law suit just waiting to happen! She was so involved with her stickers she did not notice, see, or hear the mess happening around her.
Thankfully the Manager (or someone in an authority position) walked in, saw the mess, and walked off... lol! gee... thanks!! I need my milk!!! I just came in for some DANG MILK!!!! Can I at least go get me another one?? I walk swiftly to the back of the store...again! Grab a gallon of 2% milk..again. Walk to the front of the store...again! Wave at the "greeter" and walk out with my milk!
A little while later: I thawed out my meatballs...got my water boiling for noodles (I wish I realized I needed noodles while I was at the store! We will just have to have 1/4 box of spirals, 1/2 box of shells and 1/3 box of rotini all mixed together). A noodle is a noodle!! I grab one of the boxes and somehow pulled it a little too hard and GASP!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BREATH!!! I think I might pass out... OHH the pain... the horrible, pounding, aching pain that is running through the nerves in my finger!! HOLY CRAP!!!!!!! I know I did NOT just bust my finger AGAIN!!!
back a few months....November... right before Thanksgiving Holidays..........
I bought Madie a pair of jeans from Limited Too and they forgot to take the security bar off (yet I walked right out of the store without sounding the alarm...so much for those working!!!). I figure I can just pry it off myself instead of making ANOTHER trip into Lafayette, to the mall, through all the traffic...just to get the freakin plastic popped off. So, I grab a butter knife in one hand (my right) and the plastic security bar from hell in my other hand and I start to prying...
It was like I was watching it happen in slow motion and I could not stop it! There was blood ..not just a little blood...But BLOOD pouring out of my finger onto the counter and all down my hand. OHHHHH HOOOLLLLYYYYY CRAP!!!! okay... just breathe!!! Hmm... no pain..okay, that is a good thing...Right??? Am I in shock? No...I am okay... Breathe!!! I wonder if I can just wrap it up and put a band aid on it... or if I need to go to the ER. I don't wanna go to the ER! I just crawled out of bed! My hair is on the top of my head, I have last night's makeup on....whyyyyy????
Okay... let me take a look. BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Madie!".. I say as calmly as I can... "I need you to get a bandage for me"... "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Oh my gosh!!! Do I need to call 911? Should I call dad?" shhhh...quit freakin out!!!..... Breathe!!!!!!! Ohh...I am starting to feel some pain.....
I wrap my finger.. very tightly to stop the bleeding. (Too tightly I later learned..as my finger tip turned purple!) I manage to put on some jeans, shirt, and my flip flops, call a friend to get my kids, and call Keith at work to let him know I was going to the quick care clinic because I sliced my finger open! "Do I need to leave work and meet you at the hospital?" uhhh...NO!! it is just a finger! :)
7 stitches!!! SEVEN stitches is what it took to sew up that butter knife cut! It cut deep! It was pretty bad!!
Months of healing... the pain, the nerves regenerating, scar tissue... did I mention the pain...
................standing in my pantry pulling a box of noodles out and banging...ramming.. my finger..THAT finger, my scarred up, hurt finger!!... into a corner on the shelf... BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 comments:

vicki said...

Oh my! You are a walking accident recently. I hope your luck takes a turn real soon but I have to say that post is cracking me up. Not really laughing AT you just ABOUT you. Does that make sense? Love ya!

Heidi said...

STAY AWAY from WALMART! There are other stores in the world... and some of them have nice and helpful employees too! Worth the drive! I am so sorry you were hurt!!

Tanya said...

Ahhh...that is EXACTLY why I hate shopping at Wal-Mart. Don't get me wrong - I DO shop there - it's too cheap not to. But I hate every single minute.

Sorry about the finger. Hope you're doing okay.